Attempt #4

Well tomorrow is attempt #4!  Finally!!!  The time has come.  There was a time when I didn't think we'd ever get here again.  At least the drugs haven't been so bad this time around.  A little nausea.. a lotta exhaustion.. and a lotta soreness in the arse :)  But we are here!

The nurse calls this morning to tell me the scheduled time for the transfer.  It's tomorrow at 12:30pm.  Then she says, Dr. Shapiro is out of the office today and tomorrow so Dr. Straub will be doing your procedure.  WHAT?  Whooooaaaa.. wait a minute.. what the heck?!  Who let him go on vacation?  Tears start to fill my eyes.  I reply back to the nurse, oh no.. I want to cry!  She says.. please don't you will make me cry.  So then I apologize blaming the hormones.  Really, that was just me being nice.  But seriously?! How could he be out?!  My coworker was like, well is the other dr a good dr?  It wouldn't matter if the other doctor was the best in the world.  You don't understand.  Everything I have been through with Dr. Shapiro.. and this procedure is a very intimate procedure.  You build this very strong relationship with all the people involved in helping your dreams of having children come true.  Obviously it's a very emotional process.. and Dr. Shapiro has been with me through it.  He knows me.. I feel like he knows what's best for me.  I'm trying to be relaxed but I can't help but feel anxiety about the unknown of another doctor.  Hopefully I will feel better after seeing Jenny today (my acupuncturist).

After the transfer Jeremy will leave for Birmingham.  I will be on my own this weekend.  Shots and all!  He was gone last weekend too so it was my very first time to do my own shots in the butt.  I had so much anxiety of not being able to do them, of experiencing pain, etc.  I actually surprised myself though!  I can't say I was graceful, but I got the job done!  I feel like through out this process there have been so many times that I didn't think I'd make it.. that there was just no way I was strong enough to survive.  But everytime I have pulled through it.  Each time I do, I come out on the other end a stronger person.  So I guess that means having Dr. Straub do this procedure will make me even STRONGER! haha!  Anyway, say a prayer for us!!