Baby Shower

We had our baby shower a few weeks back.  I'm a little late in posting pictures.. but this is by far our "busy season" with volleyball tryouts and everything else we have going on.  If you couldn't tell from my ear to ear smiling face.. I had a great time!  I felt blessed to have such wonderful family and friends join us to celebrate our little miracle.  Honestly, I'm not a fan of showers (for myself).  I don't like being the center of attention.. and I have a hard time receiving gifts.  However, this was not about receiving gifts.  For us.. it was about celebrating this wonderful miracle of life gift that we have been given.. our son!  A gift that Jeremy and I never thought we'd ever receive, but are forever grateful for being given the opportunity.

The "couldn't be happier" mom and dad to be :)

My family - who offered up their home and precious time to make everything possible.  Thank you Joey for being the liquor expert ;) and making all the ice runs.  Thank you Ashley for keeping us fed? lol.  Kidding!  Thank you for putting the finishing touches on the cupcakes and keeping the lunch box assembly line going!  I can't say thank you enough to my dear sweet Aunt who flew all the way in from Arkansas to host the shower!  It was everything I ever hoped and dreamed of.. and more!  I know that my mother in heaven is forever grateful that you are taking such great care of her baby girl!!  There isn't a single person in this world that could do a more capable job.

One of my besties.. Beth!  Huge thank you to her for driving in all the way from Florida to help me.. stay sane! lol :)  I am forever indebted to her saint of a husband for keeping their three young children so she was able to join me!

I love how all the decorations turned out!  Yes, I made them all (minus the cute red luggages).  Big thanks to my sister in law, Jaime, for helping with the lunch containers!!  If you are wondering about the white frames.. they were $1 at IKEA!!  I know, right?!

 

My favorite part of the shower.. seeing everyone that has loved and supported us throughout our journey.  We had family and friends come from all over Atlanta..  as well as Nashville, Macon, Alabama, Florida, and Arkansas!  I know it was a sacrifice for each and every one of them.. and I am grateful that they made it!  I can't wait to show these pictures to Reddick when he's older so he can see the outpouring of love he had in welcoming him into this world! (Did I mention that your attendance automatically entered you into a binding babysitting agreement?!  hehe!)

The blindfold diaper game has to be my favorite!!  We had a team of single/childless men against a team of current/former fathers.   I belly laughed so hard watching them put those diapers on blindfolded. Guess who won ;)

This is me scared.. at the um... diapering job (or lack there of) that my husband did.  Yup.. please pray for me!!

We received so many wonderful presents.  So much so that I was overwhelmed!  Jeremy's favorite gift.. Reddick's A5 South blanket that he will surely be using in those cold gyms when he's cheering his favorite coach on :)  Jeremy.. I love you with all my heart.. Reddick and I will forever be your #1 fans!  Go dad!!!

Pillow Hoarding

Hello my name is Leslie.. and I'm a pillow hoarder!  The other day my husband ever so politely pointed out to me that I am becoming a pillow hoarder.  Call it what you want.. but I am willing to do whatever necessary to be comfortable at night!!

Before pregnancy I already slept with two pillows under my head.  Not thick, fluffy ones.. about medium thickness.  Around 13 or so weeks Jeremy surprised me with this lovely gift from Babies R Us.  It's the Snoogle Total Body Pillow.  At first I didn't sleep with it all the time.. however now I don't go a night without it!  It's great for keeping a pillow between my legs.

The body pillow soon became not enough.  My back was hurting more and more so Jeremy did a little internet research.  He found that putting a pillow under your hip, on your back side, is supposed to help.  It seems to!  So every night at bedtime I lift up my hip and he slides it under.  (Then he tucks me in and kisses me good night.. yes I know.. it's so sweet!).  Here is the thick, fluffy Ralph Lauren pillow that I use for under my hip.

Annndd... my latest pillow acquisition.. the Boppy Contoured Wedge pillow.  I got this from Target.  Amazon has it too.. but it's cheaper at Target.  It fits nicely under my tummy for support.  I thought of the idea when I got a massage last week.  They had something similar and it was fabulous!  Now I don't feel like my stomach is pulling on my back.

So all in all.... I sleep with 5 pillows.  I have to be honest.. I still wake up stiff with a back ache.. but it is better than sleeping without them!  :)

The Joys of Pregnancy

I spent yesterday morning and afternoon at the hospital.  Wednesday when I got home from work I noticed my left foot was bulging out of my shoe.  My right foot was the normal "pregnancy" swelling.. but the left was huge!  I immediately laid down on the couch and propped my feet up.  As the night went on, my left calf began to hurt.. and it hurt to walk on it.  I decided it would be best to call the OB.  She recommended I go into the hospital for an ultrasound of my leg, just in case there could be a blood clot.  However, she said they probably wouldn't be able to do the test until the next morning.. so I'd have to spend the night at the hospital.  I politely declined and told her I'd see her in the morning.  I mean, who wants to spend the night at the hospital?!  When I woke up the next morning, most of the swelling had gone down.  Jeremy drove me to the hospital where they did an ultrasound.  Luckily, no blood clots!  The dr just told me to stay off my feet and buy some compression socks.

There are some wonderful things about pregnancy.. there are also some not so wonderful things about it!  I feel terrible ever complaining about it because of all we went through.  I even tell myself everything you are probably saying to me inside your head.. "You asked for it", "Stop being ungrateful", "It all seems minor compared to what you had to go through to get to where you are now".  Most of it is just annoying, like the back pain.. the hemorrhoids.. the early pregnancy nausea.. the shortness of breath.. not being able to put my shoes or socks on, etc.  I have to say though, my LEAST favorite part about it all.. and by far the most painful.. is the calf cramps!  Waking up in the middle of the night.. in my deepest sleep.. with the most unbearable pain I've ever felt!  I feel sorry for my husband that he wakes up to me whaling my arms and screaming.. "J.. J.. J.. oh my god.. J!" Lucky for me.. Jeremy studies what he does.. and is an experienced athlete.. so he knows exactly what to do to help me.  Usually within a few seconds he's able to relieve the pain and we both quickly go back to sleep.  But seriously.. the pain is UNBEARABLE!  I keep thinking.. and I still have 2 1/2 months to go!!!!

Hospital Tour

This last Saturday, October 5th, was our hospital tour of Northside Hospital.  Northside is a considerable distance from our house.. without traffic I'd say it's 45 minutes.  However, with traffic it could be anywhere from an hour to two hours!  We have to drive through downtown Atlanta to get to it.  (Pray that our little one doesn't decide to come on a Friday afternoon around 4pm!!!) Why would we choose a hospital so far from our house?  Because I believe it's the best hospital in Atlanta.  Our Reproductive Endocrinologist and OB are located right next door.  And when searching for both of those I received many excellent referrals about the doctors there.  I just honestly feel like Northside has the best of the best when it comes to infertility and delivery babies.  Being that we struggled so much to get pregnant.. and spent so much money.. it was a logical decision for us to continue our baby experience with them.

We made the tour with about 5 other couples.  Of course I had the latest delivery date.. yes me.. overly planned me :)  One woman was pregnant with twins and a due date of October 26th.  I wanted to tell her she should have packed a bag and just stayed!  Overall, the tour was extremely informative.  They showed us where drop off is.. where to temporarily park until after delivery, what items we should pack and when we should bring our bags in.  We got to see the delivery room and get a feel for the after delivery rooms.  Seeing the tiny little babies and the delivery room made it all more real to me.  I have to say though, I was not impressed with the partner sleeping arrangements.  Jeremy will be spending the night on a wooden bench!  Sure, it has foam padding.. but it's thin.  I guess I expected much nicer from Northside.  I mean, everything else is new and super nice.  I told him if he leaves me at night for a better sleeping arrangement he'll hear me scream like that grandpa on the Southwest Airline commercials.. "Don't leave me with the baby!!"  hehe!

It may sound silly, but I wanted to take a picture of the front of the Women's Center just so Reddick will see where he was born.  Walking up to it on a cool fall morning just gave me such a wonderful feeling of peace and joy.

Almost 27 weeks!

So yesterday I went to the OB for my regular monthly check up.. and my glucose tolerance test.  This is the test where you have to drink a sugar drink an hour before they take your blood so they can tell if you have developed gestational diabetes.  I had many people tell me before the visit that the drink was nasty.  One woman even said she had to hold their nose just to drink it!  45 minutes before my office visit I gulped it down.  Umm.. it was good!  Tasted like a flat Sunkist drink to me :)  I'll be honest with you, it did burn my throat a little because you had to drink the entire thing in less than 5 minutes.  But the taste was good.

So I walk into my visit and let the receptionist know that I was there for my glucose test.  She asked, what did you think of the drink?  I responded, I thought it was good.  Her eyes widened.  What?  She calls over another woman and tells her.  She verifies with me, You drank the orange sugar drink right?!  Yes.  I could drink another too!  Their chins drop.  Of course I'm finding this humorous!  I really don't see what the big deal is, it's just a flat orange soda!  They take me back to the lab for my blood to be drawn and put me in a room.  The midwife comes in and the first thing she says is.. what did you think of the drink?  I liked it!  She laughs and says.. you must have a real sweet tooth!  Come to think of it.. why yes I do :)  Not so much since the baby though.  I can't say enough how much he takes after his daddy.  Before being pregnant I ate sweets all the time, but since being pregnant I haven't desired them.  Jeremy isn't much of a sweet tooth person.  He likes a few things every now and then.. but he mostly likes salty foods.

Anyway, we get to talking about the amount of synthroid I'm taking because of the existence of thyroid antibodies in my system.  I've been on the lowest dose of synthroid since they discovered my infertility a few years back.  She casually mentioned that they did another TSH test and that I might have to increase my dosage until delivery.  That got us to talking about my history of depression (The thyroid gland produces and regulates hormones.  These hormones can affect energy levels, mood, weight.. and can be a factor in depression).  Naturally she voices her concern about my increased risk factor for postpartum depression.  I tell her I have the same concerns.. and I've been working with my counselor on a plan for post pregnancy.  She shares with me something she's found to be helpful with partners when dealing with postpartum.  I thought it was very interesting!  Instead of placing the burden on your partner to have to ask everyday how are you feeling.. and the burden on yourself to have to be honest and truthful with your response, use a point system!  Develop a scale of 0 to 10.  0 being you are having the best day and you feel great.   10 being you are having a very low day and struggling to make it.  At the end of the day tell your partner your number.  It's a way for your partner to be aware.. and for you to not have to be defensive with them asking.  I told her that we have a wipe off board calendar on our fridge.  Jeremy's schedule is so weird that it's a way for me to keep track of what he has on what day so I know what time to make dinner or when not to make dinner at all.  So I said, I think at the end of the day I'll write my number down on the calendar.  That way I can keep track of how many days I'm experiencing each number.  As a I rule, when I get to 5-7 days of 8 or above rankings.. I need to talk to my counselor about what to do.  I say all this in hopes that it might help someone else.  I think we as women have a hard time admitting that we aren't super women!  We tend to try to do it all and at times it's very overwhelming!  Postpartum depression can be serious.  And it doesn't always affect women with a history of depression.. it can happen to any woman!  After birth, your hormones plummet.  It's natural to struggle with the hormonal changes in addition to the added stress of taking care of the baby and everything along with it.  Sometimes women aren't honest with themselves or anyone else about their struggles but there is no reason to be ashamed!  I think there is greater strength in a woman that swallows her pride and says, I need help.. then a woman who suffers in silence.  Besides, the saying goes.. it takes a village to raise a child.  We can't do it alone and we shouldn't expect that from ourselves!

So after our conversation she puts me on the table for my routine check.  I mention to her that I feel like my belly should be larger.. as in further out. (Yes, I am a worry wart.. there's always something!)  So she gets out the measuring tape to measure me.  She says.. how far along are you?  I've seriously lost count so I was thinking I was 27 weeks almost 28.  When I got home I realized I'm almost 27.  She tells me that I'm actually measuring 30 weeks!!  She asks me what size I was when I was born.  I tell her about average.. 7 lbs 8 oz.  I didn't feel like mentioning that we're egg donation so it doesn't really count.  And my husband was only around 4 lbs because he was premature.  But 30 weeks?!  How big is this baby?!?!?!  She tells me that since my torso is so long, that I won't poke out as far as other women with shorter torsos.  Ahh, that makes sense!  She also says women with longer torsos tend to not experience stretch marks.. or have very few.  She says she doesn't believe I will get any at all.  This is my second visit that she's declared that.  Hey, I'll take it!  No stretch marks would be wonderful!  (of course if I got them, I would wear them with pride)

She then grabs the doppler to find the heartbeat of my little dancer!  She finds it.. then it fades.  She moves to the other side to find it again.. then it fades.  She moves it to the other side again.. and finds it.  She says, What is going on in there?  This guy won't sit still so I can hear his heartbeat.  I tell her.. good luck.. he doesn't sleep.. I promise he doesn't!  He dances all day long!  Sometimes I talk to him.. I hum.. I bargain with him.. daddy talks to him.  Doesn't matter.. he continues to dance.  She says, this little bugger.. you're going to have your hands full.  Like I said.. like father like son!

All in all it was a good visit!  I now start going to my office visits every 2 weeks.  Can't believe how fast the time is going by.. I'm already at the every 2 week appointment mark!

Pregnancy Funk?

I’ve suffered from depression most of my life.  It came as no surprise when the depression deepened during my battle with infertility.  Suffering through infertility could make the happiest person become the saddest.  At the time I don’t think I really realized how much of my depression was directly related to my infertility because there were other aspects of my life that were a struggle.  It wasn’t until I became pregnant that I really realized how much my struggle with infertility affected all of those other aspects of my life that I was unhappy with.  It’s like they say.. When it rains, it pours.  One unhappy area in your life can impact every.other.area!

Have you ever started the day wearing an outfit that you just didn’t feel cute in?  Or have a bad hair day?  It seems like the rest of your day is thrown off or goes downhill because of that one thing.  However, if you put on a new cute outfit and feel beautiful.. you have a fabulous day!  Ladies, am I right?!

Anyway, it clicked with me about a month ago when I told my counselor.. I didn’t realize how much infertility sucked the joy out of my entire life.  In every aspect!  And how I’ve felt that joy back since my pregnancy.  When you say it out loud it makes sense.  Of course when you’re in the situation, it’s harder to see.

However, lately, there will be days though when I just am not feeling the joy.  When nothing seems to go right… when I just want to throw my hands up and say.. I GIVE UP!  When I’m tired mentally and physically of holding everything together.. my job.. keeping the house clean.. cooking dinner.. planning for the baby.. making sure the bills are paid.. etc.  It’s hard going through pregnancy with a dad that doesn’t care to be involved.. and a mother whose life was ended too soon and never got the option.   It’s even harder when the person you lean on the most.. is preoccupied and I’m left to carry the burden alone.  I consider myself a pretty strong person, I’ve had to be.  But there are just times when I wish I didn’t have to be so strong… when I wish I had more family support.  One of the most difficult things I’ve had to come to terms with is that not everybody feels the same way about my pregnancy.  While I try to include everyone in as many aspects of it as possible.. some people just choose to not want to be a part of it.  Honestly, some days I get it.. some days I don’t.  No matter how many times I tell myself to not take it personal.. I still do!   I realize it’s my pregnancy.. so it’s my victory and my joy.  I guess I just feel like my family and people that claim to be my closest friends would want to share that joy with me.  

At any rate, when I come across these times I wonder… Is it a pregnancy funk because of all the hormones.. or is it my depression?

Belly Shot!

Many of you have been asking.. so here it is.. my preggo belly at 25 weeks!

I sent this picture to my dad last week because he hasn't seen me since I got pregnant.  His response, "Uh oh.. I can tell you've gained weight."  Uhhhh.. really?!?!  I don't get it.. wait.. I'm pregnant and I gained weight?!  Of course I gained weight!!  I'm carrying and feeding another human being. :) Just wait till he sees me in a few weeks when I hit the "growth spurt"!